Below the cut, you’ll find links to each video, along with a few of my thoughts on each one (WARNING: Contains Bieber)

1. Justin Bieber – Baby ft. Ludacris – 476,504,704 views
I’ll admit, when I first heard of Justin Bieber, I wrote him off as another industry manufactured teen pop idol – the kind of singer manufactured by a record company to separate teens and tweens from the credits in their iTunes accounts. But the more I hear about him, the more I think he’s for real. His music isn’t my cup of tea, but that’s OK – I’m nowhere near his target audience. This video represents the only song of his I’d actually recognize, and looking at it now (after close to half a billionpeople before me), I recognize an obvious homage to Michael Jackson – everything from the confident young kid wooing his best girl to the coordinated group dancing to the rap interlude (with Ludacris as Vincent Price?). Heck, he even moon walks. So, there you go, Mr. Bieber. This 40-something is willing to cut you some slack, even if I’ll probably never buy one of your songs.

2. Lady Gaga – Bad Romance – 351,620,853 views
This video confirmed for me what I’ve always thought of Lady Gaga – video is her best medium. Everything interesting about this performance involves the visual – crazy costumes, harsh lighting, quick camera cuts, references to varied (and often clashing) historical genres, and, of course, the requisite crotch-grabbing and partial nudity. She is interesting to watch, in the sense that you’ll likely see something you’ve never seen before, but it begs the question, “Why would anyone watch one of her videos more than once?” Musically, she is moderately talented at best. There have been comparisons to Madonna, which are apt in the sense that in her heyday, Madonna was a master of marketing her brand, and that is definitely something that Lady Gaga has done extremely well. But Madonna could also sing and dance, and without a lot of special effects. For this reason, I think Lady Gaga will always have a lot of YouTube views, but will likely not achieve Madonna’s success or longevity. Time will tell, I guess…

3. Shakira – Waka Waka(This Time for Africa); 309,961,284 views
This is one of those videos that is popular because it’s tied to an event that’s bigger than itself – in this case, the 2010 World Cup . Lots of clips of famous players and plays that, as a soccer-challenged American, I don’t know enough about. But the World Cup is the biggest event in global sports, and a source of tremendous pride for the home country. Shakira scored the “Official 2010 FIFA World Cup Song,” which obviously drew a huge audience. The song is OK (more musically interesting than either of the previous two), but would almost certainly not have achieved this kind of success had it not been for its association with soccer’s biggest stage.

4. Eminem – Love The Way You Lie ft. Rihanna; 296,974,332 views
Eminem does with rap music what the great Renaissance artists did with paint. He expresses deep emotion in a way that is undeniable, even to someone who isn’t an aficionado of the art form. This video is difficult to watch. There is violence, anguish and obvious pain in every verse and every image. The main character feels remorse and tries to apologize, but in the space of a single verse, his temper rises again and lands him back in that ugly, terrible place depicted in the video. It’s one of those times where the profanity is 100% appropriate, given the subject matter. As with the other songs on this list, you won’t find me with Eminem music on my iPod, but focusing on him for four minutes and twenty-seven seconds is enough to help me understand why others do.

5. Charlie bit my finger – again !; 286,339,624 views
Sometimes you look at the Internet and say to yourself, “Why?” This is one of those times. I’m guessing one in ten families with small children have home video that’s roughly as cute and/or funny as this one, but far fewer than a quarter of a billion people have seen it. Who’s to say which one goes viral? No one knows. All we can do is marvel at how the world loves to have communal experiences, and admit that others we know having seen a thing is reason enough to watch it ourselves. This isn’t a new phenomenon, but now we have a tool like YouTube to help us quantify it.

6. Justin Bieber – One Time; 222,161,184 views
This video is yet another call back to the days in which videos told stories – little movies without dialog. The song isn’t much to listen to, and you’ll forgive me being an old fogey here, but I suspect the day will come when 35 year-old Justin Bieber looks back at his 16 year-old self singing to a girl about how she’s his “one heart; one love” and will “give her everything she needs” and just laughs and laughs and laughs. In the meantime, though, stuff like this fuels his teen-idol status, and fills young girls’ heads with dreams of being with their heart throb. Ain’t nothing wrong with that…

7. Eminem – Not Afraid; 206,729,645 views
This is another Eminem video filled with the same kind of raw emotion, although this one seems much more superficial – a giant “F*** YOU” to anyone who’s ever criticized or wronged Eminem in some way throughout his life and career. Who knows – maybe he’s singing about a specific, difficult time in his life? Or maybe he’s just whining about how hard it is to be one of the most successful performers in the history of music. I won’t judge because I don’t really know. I’ll just say I’m glad I watched Love the Way You Lie first, and I understand why it’s generated over 100 million additional page views.

8. Miley Cyrus – Party In The U.S.A. – Official Music Video; 198,227,782 views
If Eminem is the tough-to-swallow medicine, then Miley Cyrus is the spoonful of sugar that helps that medicine go down. Gone is all the hard angst and raw emotion of life’s big problems, replaced by a young girl dancing in the back of her pickup truck or in front of a giant American flag, and singing about partying and listening to Jay-Z and Britney Spears on the radio. Music (and music video) will always have a place for this kind of feel-good escape, which is great for a singer like Miley, as long as she understands that it’ll only last until the next one comes along.

9. Pitbull – I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho); 167,844,208 views
Oh, look – a guy who’s barely singing standing next to scantily clad, big-breasted women, starring in a “video for the deaf” (and by that, I mean a video in which all the important words are printed on the screen in large font, so you don’t have to hear the song to know what it’s about). The fact that this video has 168 million views suggests to me that there’s a dance club somewhere in the world that’s playing it on a loop every night and didn’t bother to download it. I guess it has a good dance beat, but after that? Meh. Allow me the hubris to disagree with the millions who have watched it and suggest moving on to something else.

10. Evolution of Dance; 166,110,666 views
Now, THIS is what YouTube was meant to be about. An above-average dancer in a pair of blue jeans and and an Orange Crush T-Shirt re-creating many of the iconic dance moves of the last forty years. The setting suggests he’s on stage at a small comedy club somewhere, showing the crowd a really good time. The kind of thing that everyone in the audience would tell their friends about the next day: “Yeah, you should have seen this guy last night. It was really cool. He played a bunch of old music and did these cool dances. You should have seen it…” But now, they can see it, because it’s on YouTube.

<rationale>
I’ve been reading too many articles lately in which some newswire is relaying news – typically celebrity news – based on what the celebrity in question has just tweeted. So, I figure, why not use Twitter as the news source it has become? I do not ever intend to tweet (I’m already on Facebook, and I honestly can’t see a reason to be on both, unless I’m caught in a real life, hashtag-worthy event…). Rather, I plan to use Twitter as a kind of “Facebook of the Stars,” in which I can read about what various celebrities are telling the world without having to catch up on them through E! Online or Yahoo! Gossip or some other aggregator that has worked an exclamation point into their name.
</rationale>

So, at the advice of a friend, I googled “Most Twitter Followers,” which led me to this site – a list of the one thousand most popular tweeters. Of the thousand I found there, I “followed” 59 people. Here they are, sorted in order from most followers to least:

1) Lady Gaga	21) Al Yankovic	41) Hugh Jackman
2) Justin Bieber	22) Larry King	42) David Blaine
3) Britney Spears	23) Wil Wheaton	43) Drew Carey
4) Barack Obama	24) Lindsay Lohan	44) Lea Michele
5) Kim Kardashian	25) Penn Jillette	45) Miranda Cosgrove
6) Katy Perry	26) Bill Cosby	46) Craig Ferguson
7) Ellen DeGeneres	27) Dalai Lama	47) John Hodgman
8) Taylor Swift	28) Brent Spiner	48) William Shatner
9) Oprah Winfrey	29) Alyssa Milano	49) Steve Martin
10) Justin Timberlake	30) Kevin Nealon	50) Sarah Palin
11) Ashley Tisdale	31) Nick Swisher	51) Seth Meyers
12) Ryan Seacrest	32) Yoko Ono	52) Tina Fey
13) Paris Hilton	33) Sarah Silverman	53) Roger Ebert
14) Demi Moore	34) Neil Patrick Harris	54) Bill Maher
15) Jimmy Fallon	35) John Cleese	55) Joan Rivers
16) John Legend	36) Dr. Phil	56) Pamela Anderson
17) Al Gore	37) Barbara Walters	57) Miley Cyrus
18) Conan O’Brien	38) WikiLeaks	58) Jessica Simpson
19) Dr. Drew	39) Michael Moore	59) Howard Stern
20) Stephen Colbert	40) Kathy Griffin

In terms of actual entertainment, I am fans of some of these folks and not of others, but they all looked like they might produce interesting tweets, which was my only criteria here (and thus concludes the story of how a Twitter user came to follow both Michael Moore and Sarah Palin on the same day. If only I had a way to share this exciting news with everyone I know. Oh yeah, that’s right: Facebook).

Anyway, first impressions of Twitter as news source:

• It works. In the first fifteen minutes, I learned that Ellen Degeneres had sat down with a seven-year old paleontologist, that Justin Bieber has raised over $7 million for a clean water charity by asking his fans to donate to it in honor of his upcoming birthday, that Roger Ebert hated the Oscar telecast, that Kathy Griffin is going to appear on Glee, that Lea Michelle had pasta with Tom Hanks after the Oscars, that Matthew Morrison has a new single out (quick review: Yuck), that Britney Spears has a new single out (quick review: didn’t bother clicking the link), that Barack Obama will work with anybody! ANYBODY! to improve Health Care Reform, and that Seth Myers wrote a clever line about Charlie Sheen (“Post-Oscars, when I say “The King’s Speech,” I’m referring to stuff Charlie Sheen said.”). Not bad as a quick (and mindless) news source.
• In the time it took me to read 1,000 names and click on 59 of them, 13 people followed me. One is an “online dog community,” one is extremely profane, one describes herself (forgive me for assuming the gender here) as a “Justin Bieber fan.” All thirteen are total strangers to me and likely not even real people. Regardless, all thirteen will be significantly disapointed when they notice that I never tweet. Not even once just to try it. Ever. Seriously.
• Wikileaks releases new, “shocking” information every hour or so. I honestly didn’t realize just how shock-jock they were about their information. I haven’t removed them from the feed yet, but they’re the only ones I’m considering removing at this point.
• And finally, I knew right away this was a mad, mad world when I followed President Obama and saw these two things pop up on my screen:

Yeah – this is gonna get weird fast…

But first, the facts: Pop singer, Katy Perry, recorded a segment for Sesame Street, in which she sang a (child-friendly) version of her hit song, Hot N Cold, with everybody’s favorite montser, Elmo. The segment was posted on Sesame Street’s YouTube channel as a “sneak peek” at the show’s season premiere. After more than one million views, the folks at the Sesame Workshop received a number of complaints that Ms. Perry’s outfit was too revealing, making it inappropriate for a TV show aimed at preschoolers. The Sesame Street folks decided not to air the segment on television and removed it from the Sesame Street YouTube channel, although they did allow it to remain on other YouTube channels and websites, including Katy Perry’s own YouTube channel and katyperry.com.

Oh, strange story, let me count the ways…

1) Sesame Street pre-releases clips of its shows on YouTube? Is this really such hotly anticipated content that we can’t wait for the actual show to air?

2) Parents actually watch pre-release clips of Sesame Street on the Internet? Are there folks out there who really want to pre-screen Sesame Street on a regular basis?

3) To Sesame Street’s target demographic, cleavage doesn’t suggest anything naughty – it suggests lunch!

To be honest, I don’t very much care that they didn’t air it on television. One of the great things about the times we live in is that television isn’t our only source of media content. Anyone who wants to see Katy Perry sing with Elmo (or just ogle her cleavage) can do so on the Internet just as easily (or, some would argue, more easily) than on television. And if your two-year old is a big Katy Perry fan, you’re free to sit him/her down in front of the computer and let him/her watch. So the TV show becomes the “extremely safe zone.” That used to matter a lot, because the decisions of a select few affected the choices of the masses. Today, not so much.

For those who are curious, here’s the video. But be forewarned – if you click on it, you have to stop claiming that you read my blog just for the articles…

First, my friend Jeff Porten shows what happens when you eat lamb chops while listening to Elton John:

Bo combs my fleece next morn adorned
Zero hour six AM
And I’m gonna be munching grass and straw till then
The NASA satellite was low and tight
That caught my sheepskin fuzz
Ovis aries meets Ares

And I think it’s gonna be a long long time
Got four legs waving in the air sublime
I’m not the lamb they think is all alone
Oh no no no. I’m a rocket lamb.
Rocket lamb, glad I’m wearing wool ’cause it’s awf’ly cold.

Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids
Leave them with the goats’ next door
Or their heads will bug out bad like Arnold’s did.
I see Spirit stuck there, down in the sand
In space there’s no one to hear you bleat
A rocket lamb, a rocket lamb.

And this orbit is still stuck on full repeat
No fancy gyroscope gives me a sign
I’d be better off as gyro meat
Oh no no no no no. I’m a rocket lamb.
Rocket lamb, Peep has no business raising sheep

Not to be outdone, Steve Walsh responded with this Paul McCartney tribute:

Well the grain exploded with a mighty crash, as we leapt over the trough,
And the first one said to the second one, “baaah”
Lamb on the run, lamb on the run,
And the farmer man and the upholstery stand, were searching everyone,

For the lamb on the run, lamb on the run, lamb on the run, lamb on the run

Well the shearer drew a heavy sigh, seeing no spool of wool had come,
And a bell was ringing in the village square, for the rabbits on the run
[NOTE: actual line!]
Lamb on the run, lamb on the run.

OK, so the first one is cute, but the second one is a challenge. So at that point, I turn to Billy Joel for inspiration:

There’s nine in our flock on a Saturday
But yesterday it was ten
There’s a sheep dog standing next to me
Making sure no one else leave the pen

He says, “Son, you appear to be musical
which for you, might seem quite absurd
But if you would please bleat a song that is sweet
Then I can keep track of this herd

baa baa baa, b- b- baa baa
baa baa, b- b- baa, baa baaaaaaaaaaaaa

Sing us a song, you’re the piano lamb
Sing us a song right now
’cause Mary is peeved I let one of you leave
and now she’s stuck eating the cow..

So there you go. Three guys writing song parodies who aren’t the least bit sheepish…

(Too much? Yeah, you’re right. Sorry…)

Obviously, these are both wonderful causes, so I’m comparing only music videos here.

I guess I’m predisposed to prefer the original, since it’s how I first heard the song, and contains a larger percentage of artists that I know and/or identify with. That said, the new version is growing on me. I’m surprised by how much I like the rap breaks, both in the middle and at the end. I think what Wyclef Jean did with Creole lyrics and singing style went a long way toward making this an effort in Haitian relief, and not just a remake of the original song. I like the way they incorporated Michael Jackson into it (the image of Janet singing next to her brother is the first tribute to his legacy that doesn’t feel commercialized in some way), and I love the Ray Charles impression that Jamie Foxx threw in to honor another of the original’s stand-out artists.

On the other hand, I’m mystified about why they changed the lyrics to one of the verses (was there a religious objection to “As God has shown us by turning stone to bread?”). I’m surprised by Celine Dion’s choice to imitate, note for note, what Cyndi Lauper did with her part (with apparent coaching from Lionel Richie?), rather than bringing her own interpretation to the song. I think teen sensation, Justin Bieber, is going to get a big bump in face-recognition from singing the first solo (“There comes a time…”), but that most people will conclude that his voice was too weak to handle it. And I’m deeply, deeply troubled by the acceptance of auto-tune as a musical choice by folks Lil Wayne and others. If melodic singing isn’t his thing, then find someone else to do Bob Dylan’s part, please? That, or for heaven’s sake, someone please improve the auto-tune technology so it doesn’t sound like a robot attempting to sing such soulful lyrics!

In the end, I still prefer the original, but I’m glad they both exist. And if the new one is nearly as successful as the original in raising money for a good cause, then I’m doubly glad they put in the time and effort.

Attention 40-something year-old men: you may now commence picturing Carrie Underwood in a metal bikini. That is all…

Adam Lambert emerged from his #2 finish on American Idol as one of the most promising singing talents in years. At the American Music Awards, he decided to make his performance a social statement, rather than make it about the music. He’s since been cancelled by ABC from Good Morning America, Jimmy Kimmel Live, and New Year’s Rockin’ Eve. And the shows that are letting him on suddenly want to talk about nothing else but the AMA’s. I’m disappointed. Not because I have a particular opinion about his “cause,” but because he’s allowed his cause to overshadow his music, which I was looking forward to enjoying. On the upside, I think maybe he’s realizing his mistake. Here’s what he told Ellen Degeneres:

It was maybe a little too far. I think in hindsight I look back on it and I go, “OK, maybe that wasn’t the best first impression to make again, the first second impression.” I mean, I had fun up there, I had a good time, my dancers had fun and the band had fun. I respect people and feel like people walked away from that feeling disrespected. I would never intend to disrespect anybody. So that was not my intention.

What he needs now is a musical “reset” – another spotlight moment, like the AMA’s, in which he knocks everyone’s socks off musically, and convinces people that music is his thing, not social commentary.

Tiger Woods released the following statement yesterday:

[N]o matter how intense curiosity about public figures can be, there is an important and deep principle at stake which is the right to some simple, human measure of privacy. I realize there are some who don’t share my view on that. But for me, the virtue of privacy is one that must be protected in matters that are intimate and within one’s own family. Personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn’t have to mean public confessions.

Whatever regrets I have about letting my family down have been shared with and felt by us alone. I have given this a lot of reflection and thought and I believe that there is a point at which I must stick to that principle even though it’s difficult.

I wish every celebrity in the world would memorize these two paragraphs and recite them whenever some nosy reporter presumes to suggest that his/her private life is somehow my business.

Tiger had a car accident and knocked over a fire hydrant. He needs to explain that to the police, and hence, to the public. If someone were knocking over fire hydrants in my neighborhood, I’d want to know who, where and why. That’s a public safety issue and a law enforcement issue. However, if the answer to “Why?” is “domestic dispute” or “private matter,” then I have no need or desire to know more.

Michaele and Tareq Salahi are the latest in a series of Reality TV inspired stupidity. Years ago, people would do dumb things to get noticed, to be sure, but the result was rarely more than the standard fifteen minutes of fame. Today, with the institutional backing (and financing) of a Reality TV Show’s production company, exhibitionists like these have the capability of distracting the entire nation for fifteen days, not fifteen minutes. The Salahi’s, like the Balloon Boy family before them, only benefit from their actions if they get caught. And even though the news media knows this, they play right into the perpetrators’ hands, because they also know that it sells soap. My only hope is that the largely negative reaction to both the Salahi’s and the Heene’s dissuade Reality TV producers from pulling stunts like this in the future. Because the media is certainly not going to show any restraint.

HBO recently aired the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame’s 25th Anniversary Concert. Culling through two nights of music, they presented a “mere” four hours of musical genius, ranging from Stevie Wonder to Simon & Garfunkel to Aretha Franklin to Crosby, Stills & Nash to U2 to Metallica to Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band. Add to that a truly amazing array of “guest stars,” such as James Taylor, Joe Cocker, Smokey Robinson, Sting, BB King, Bonnie Rait, and Billy Joel. As I watch these folks float on and off the Madison Square Garden stage, all I can think is, “These are the masters that today’s musical acts can only dream of approximating.” I’m not a fan of every musical style in the show, but the amount of raw musical talent on display is so far and away beyond the artists of today, that one wonders what the 50th Anniversary show could possibly have to offer. Maybe it’s just my age showing…

Last night at Giants Stadium, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band put on a three-hour extravaganza that proved conclusively that adrenaline can power a rock & roll band every bit as much as an electric guitar.

Billed as his farewell to Giants Stadium (a new Giants Stadium is nearing completion in the parking lot next door, and will open for business with next year’s football season), Bruce and the band powered through twenty-eight songs (setlist), providing the required momentum for the near-perpetual motion machine that is his loyal fan base.

The show began with a song written especially for the occasion, Wrecking Ball. While poignant and apropos of the occasion, all but the most diehard Bruce fans will, I’m guessing, admit that this song is a mess – with rambling lyrics that hardly rhyme, no melody to speak of, and a barely passable chorus. It reminded me right away of Freedom, the sub-standard song Paul McCartney wrote for the Concert for New York City back in 2001.

But after that formality, the stadium lights went down and the real show began. First, there were four songs from Bruce’s massive catalog, including what has become one of his audience participation pieces, Hungry Heart. Then, the centerpiece for the evening – for each of these Giants Stadium shows, Bruce has been picking an album to play in its entirety. Past nights have featured Darkness on the Edge of Town and Born to Run, but this show’s feature was Born in the U.S.A.. I’m not sure how the Springsteen faithful felt about the choice, but I certainly enjoyed it, given that Born in the U.S.A. was the first Springsteen album that made me aware of his music back in the 1980′s. They played all twelve songs without so much as a word in between, pausing only briefly between songs so Bruce could swap out guitars. When it was over, Bruce and the band took a bow, taking a moment to mention Danny Federici, the only non-surviving contributor to the album, who passed away in April of 2008.

The show continued with five more catalog hits, culminating in Born to Run, which brought the few in the crowd who had dared to sit down back to their feet. After that, a “by request” song, which involved Bruce walking amongst the floor seat crowd & taking a handful of their homemade signs, many of which said Jersey Girl. Of course, there were enough choices amongst the myriad of signs in the audience, that it was really Bruce who chose the song, not the crowd, but no one seemed to notice or care about that little technicality.

The show ended with five more numbers, including Kitty’s Back, an honest-to-goodness roadhouse blues number that featured some amazing keyboard and organ work by Roy Bittan, and a fantastic trumpet solo by a guy I didn’t recognize (anybody?), something called Detroit Medley which included classic, non-Springsteen hits like Devil with a Blue Dress On and Good Golly, Miss Molly, American Land, Waiting on a Sunny Day – another audience participation piece, and finally, the classic Thunder Road.

As was the case with other Springsteen shows I’ve attended, I was impressed with the man’s stamina and showmanship. In the first set, he walked through the crowd to a small podium about a third of the way across the floor seats, and then “crowd surfed” back to the stage. At other times, he bounded across the wide stage, shaking hands with fans in the front rows, and allowing them to paw at his legs and feet while he sang. Three times during the show, he brought children onto the stage to sing or dance with him, including one little girl who was holding a sign that read “13th Birthday Dance????” and an even younger, adorable little blond girl (age 9 or 10?) who sang the chorus to Waiting on a Sunny Day as a solo in front of 70,000+ people, all while chewing on her gum and staring up at Bruce.

Despite all of this energy, it is still apparent that Bruce and his buddies are getting older (Bruce turned sixty this past September). The sweat that was pouring off of him, especially in the beginning of the night, made me wonder if he was going to make it through the show. Occasionally, he would take a breath during a song, and allow the (willing) audience to fill in the lyric for him. Max Weinberg, his fifty-eight year old drummer, was exhaling forcefully throughout the set as if to say, “Man….this hurts!” and would occasionally stop playing with one hand to get himself a drink of water. Clarence Clemons, who I was surprised to learn is now sixty-seven years old, stayed fixed to one spot on the stage. When the band finished its Born in the U.S.A. run-through, they had to awkwardly gather on the side of the stage around Clemons to take their bow. All of that said, though, the advancing age of the performers hasn’t taken a single thing away from the music itself, which sounded as energetic and fresh as it did on the original recordings, or in past shows I’ve seen.

Speaking of age, I feel the need to mention that Bruce and the band aren’t the only ones getting up there in years. Conservatively, I’d say the average age in the crowd was between 35 and 40, lowered only by the fact that several of the fans had brought their young children to the show. One kid, who couldn’t have been more than six years old, had a shirt on that read “My first Bruce concert.” The parent, though, admitted that it actually wasn’t his first (it was his second), but that he liked wearing the shirt.

As a more casual fan of Springsteen than many in attendance (read: sober), it was obvious to me that this is a symbiotic relationship. Bruce isn’t gaining many new fans these days. He and the band are an aging group of folks, playing classic Rock & Roll music to an aging group of fans. And Bruce knows it. When the show ended, he thanked the crowd for their years of support and asked them to “thank their friends” as well. They have a simple, unwritten contract – he keeps recording and performing live, and they keep buying the music and the concert tickets. Everyone has a great time, and they all go happily into retirement with their old and familiar friends.

Long live Rock & Roll…

Avery’s goal: to play The Red and the Blue with the Penn Band at Homecoming (November 7 against Princeton). Lessons have begun!

(NOTE: Click on the picture (or click here) to see a brief slideshow of pictures)

It’s the brainchild of American record producer (and bassist on the recording), Don Was. The site also has the MP3 available for free download.

(Hat tip: Jason Bennion)