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ISBS Review: The Apple iPad

Thursday, August 26th, 2010

When Apple’s iPad first came out, I wrote this:

As things stand today, if someone were to buy me one as a gift, I’d gladly give it a permanent home in my laptop bag, where it would replace my (old and aging) iPod and probably also my Kindle.

I also linked to this nifty flow chart, which made the (rather satirical) point that while the device is super cool, there’s no real reason to own one, and that this sticking point, along with the high price tag, was going to keep all but the uber-fanboys away.

In the ensuing seven months, I found myself a good rationale reason to own one, bought it, and have been cataloging its pluses and minuses in anticipation of writing this review. For the ADHD crowd, I’ll start with the conclusion, and then we’ll get into the details below the fold.

Conclusion

Overall, I’ll give the iPad an A-. It lives up to the hype in almost every way that matters – coolness factor, ease of use, convenience, functionality, and its ability to integrate itself into one’s daily life. Like any device, it has its downsides, but most of them are relatively minor, and almost all of them are software based, which means they will likely be solved in the coming months. The “why do I need one?” problem still exists, and many people will reach the opposite conclusion that I reached, opting instead for a netbook, an iPhone/iPod Touch, a Kindle/Nook/Sony Reader, or some other combination of gadgetry that checks off the list of iPad enabled functionality. If you get past that question, though, I can almost guarantee that you’ll be satisfied with your purchase.

For those who would like to know more, proceed below with reckless abandon. For everyone else, here’s a video of a man with no arms who plays the piano with his feet.

Read the rest of this entry »

Categories: Tech Talk | 11 Comments »

How People Found Me – January-March, 2010

Wednesday, March 31st, 2010

And now, another installment of the irrationally popular, “How People Found Me,” in which I highlight some of the Google queries that resulted in people clicking through to I Should Be Sleeping. In today’s epside, we begin with:

1) Bizarre Billy Joel Queries

I’ve written about Billy Joel a fair amount in these pages, so I attract an eclectic array of search strings. For example:

QueryComments
billy joel doesn’t like to clean kitchen Well, for a guy who doesn’t like to clean up, he sure has a knack for ensuring that he lives alone, huh? I guess he could always hire a cleaning service…
david rosenthal with his wife billy joel David Rosenthal obviously has poor taste in women (that or a rather bizarre crush on Billy Joel)
supreme macaroni billy joel Supreme Macaroni? I guess you get that at The Italian Restaurant?

From a famous New Yorker to queries about the city itself:

2) New York, New York

QueryComments
citi field singers They may look like singers, but they’re actually trying to play baseball. An easy mistake to make…
death of window washers since 1960 nyc Just goes to show – whatever topic you can dream up, someone’s researching it on the Internet.
rockefeller family tree This one’s funny because they were probably looking for Nelson and his ancestors, and what they got was pictures of the Christmas Tree in Rockefeller Center.

…and if you thought New York was big enough to generate some strange queries, wait ’till you see what happens when we expand to Life, The Universe, and Everything:

3) Seeking a Higher Power…

QueryComments
getgrogger.com A purim-related query? You don’t see that everyday…
ryan seacrest ordained OK, I realize he’s omnipresent these days, and that lots of (typically teenage) people worship him, but they didn’t go and ordain him, did they?
history.com/earth History of the earth? That oughta be a long download…
name some events Any events? Maybe this was the “history of the earth” guy again…
philosophical questions thoughts Attention, those seeking the ultimate truths of the universe: start with Google. That search engine has all the answers, dude….
ways to increase life expectancy url:gov Proof that we’ve come to depend on the government for entirely too much these days…

Bringing it down a few (hundred) notches now, let’s look at some more personal queries (as in, queries about me):

4) Getting Personal

QueryComments
brian greenberg died GAAAHHH!!!! I really think someone should have informed me…
book about the greenberg family I’m not sure my accomplishments warrant such an honor. Of course, the last guy who expressed that sentiment got the Nobel Peace Prize…

..and now, some fun with technology:

5) Technically Speaking…

QueryComments
mac osx 10.4.11 porn bugs Yes, hello? My pornography isn’t working. What’s that? Yes, I am running 10.4.11, why do you ask? Ah, the problem is fixed in 10.4.12? OK, I’ll go download the upgrade. Thanks…
webkinz world is getting to old Sounds like a kid who’s ready to move on to Club Penguin.

With a list like this, some items are just too bizarre to categorize. Enjoy…

6) Funny You Should Ask…

QueryComments
pet and celebrity look a like If you look like your pet and a celebrity, you better hope you’ve got an exceptionally handsome dog, or that the celebrity is Spuds MacKenzie.
does Ikea use slave labor? Well, given that the customers do most of the work, and they have to pay for the privilege, I’d say yes – yes, they do.
i need quarters for laundry …and you thought maybe Google would give them to you?
“uncle conan, you went to harvard?” I’m guessing this was unintentional social commentary during the NBC late-night debacle. No one in that story exhibited Harvard-level smarts…
how to know if your username or password is incorrect on webkinz.com Well, if the site doesn’t let you login, that’s a pretty good sign…
how to attract cows I seriously do not want to know why someone was Googling this…
imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears I guess it depends where else your mouth would be….
ben franklin harvard endowment ice cream I can’t decide what’s funnier here – that Ben Franklin (founder of the University of Pennsylvania) would endow Harvard University, or that he would endow them with ice cream?
family guy look alikes OK, maybe the pet/celebrity from above was the Family Guy dog, Brian?

…and finally, what installment of How People Found Me would be complete without the “adults only” section (the faint of heart should stop reading here):

7) A Dirty Mind…

QueryComments
skimpy swimsuits This one’s not that dirty, but I chuckle when I think of someone Googling for skimpy swimsuits and winding up at my site. Sorry to disappoint!
nudecamps I’ve heard of baseball camps, soccer camps, even sleep-away camps, but this has got to be an (ahem) interesting way to spend a summer…
we’re the ones you should be sleeping with Brought to you by the OMOA (Overconfident Men of America).
letting someone f*** my sleeping wife No, the original queries did not have the asterisks. I’m not judging anyone, but if that’s what you’re into, why Google it? And again, sorry you wound up at my site – definitely not what you were looking for…

Well, folks, this concludes another edition of How People Found Me. I hope you had a good time. See you again in a few months. Until then, keep those queries coming!

Categories: Tech Talk | 3 Comments »

Should You Buy an iPad?

Sunday, March 28th, 2010

The folks over at GeekDad have a helpful flowchart to help you decide:

Now that’s some solid logic. ;-)

Categories: Tech Talk | 3 Comments »

If you’re going to do it, do it right…

Wednesday, March 17th, 2010

Dear spammer,

If you’re going to send me fake e-mail claiming to be from Citibank’s customer service department, you may want to note that Citibank doesn’t capitalize the “b” in their name. Also, you may want to spell words like “security” and “upon” correctly.

Sincerely,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Spam Recipient

It’s hard to imagine that people open these files at all (even though I know they do), but if you think your bank misspelled its own name and the word “security” in their security e-mail and you still open the file? Well, then, enjoy your virus. You are beyond help…

Categories: Tech Talk | 1 Comment »

Allright already, here’s my iPad post

Saturday, January 30th, 2010

I have been notified by the blogging authorities that I am in violation of Blog Law #865309, subsection 2, paragraph iii, which clearly states that anyone running an active blog on or about January 27, 2010 must post their thoughts on Apple’s new iPad product within 48 hours of Steve Jobs’ announcement or face severe ridicule in the tech-geek community. Because of my failure to do so, I have hereby been sentenced to provide tech support to my entire extended family at all hours of the day and night for the foreseeable future.

In posting this now, I am throwing myself on the mercy of the courts, in hopes of earning myself some time off for good behavior.


Now, where were we? Ah yes, the iPad. First of all: Wow. Wicked cool. Seriously. I mean, DAMN! You don’t get more Star Trek than that. Come on! Check out the picture to the right – those Personal Access Display Devices (or P.A.D.D.’s) they used on the show might as well have been iPads, and that was back in the early 90’s. As always, Apple gets props for turning science fiction into retail electronics. If the Blackberry was the Tricorder, than this thing is the P.A.D.D..

I suspect a lot of people will spend a lot of time (and a considerable amount of money) gawking at how cool it looks. But eventually, you need to turn it on and actually, you know, use it for something. On that score, at least for now, I’m still impressed. After all, who are we kidding? It’s a 10-inch iPhone/iPod Touch. All those people who insisted they were comfortable watching a full-length feature film on a 4.5″ x 2.5″ screen can finally admit that yes, a 9.6″ x 7.8″ is much, much nicer, thank you very much. Same goes for viewing pictures, playing video games and browsing the web. After all, that “pinch and spread” technology is very cool and all, but reading a content-rich web page would be much nicer if we didn’t have to do quite so much pinching.

There is a new wrinkle here in iBooks, and while the interface is Apple-style cool, there’s the little sticking point of eInk vs. LCD screen. As pretty as the iPad’s screen is, it can’t be as easy on the eyes as eInk, putting iPad at a disadvantage in the eReader category. I don’t think this is insurmountable, though. If people like what the iPad can do, they might accept a slightly inferior eBook reader to avoid buying (and carrying around) two devices. And, as I said in my review of the Amazon Kindle, the other eBook readers don’t even attempt to do what the iPad can do.

That said, if iBooks is the new wrinkle, then the new crease is the presence of content-entry apps, specifically the iWork suite and Mail. That keyboard that would pop up for texting/e-mailing on your iPhone is almost full-size now, and so Apple is placing a (small) bet that people will use the iPad to create content, not just to consume it. Here, I think they wade into dangerous territory. The “wow” factor will fade quickly when you have to get your presentation done, and if Keynote is much easier to use on the MacBook than it is on the iPad, people will revert back awfully quickly. Also, and I know I speak blasphemy here, there’s still the small problem of Microsoft Office’s 80% market share in this space. Those of us who haven’t entered Steve Jobs’ reality distortion field can still plug our iPods, iPod Touches, and iPhones into our Windows PC’s, but there’s no way we’re doing the budget spreadsheet in Numbers, and then sending it to our boss who expects Excel. If they want the iPad to truly replace the laptop, they’re going to need to reach out with the olive branch and get Microsoft to write iPad specific versions of those programs. (No, I’m not holding my breath).

Then there is the matter of what isn’t there. I’m surprised, for instance, that the iPad cannot function as a phone. If you’ve got 3G capability (optional), the iPhone OS, a microphone and speakers/a headphone jack, isn’t phone functionality just another app? Or is Apple suggesting that we buy (and carry around) an iPad and an iPhone? Dubious. Also, I’m reading where Safari for iPad doesn’t support Adobe Flash? Didn’t Steve Jobs tell us we’d have the “whole web in the palm of our hands?” This is kind of like the semi-secret “no, it doesn’t do cut & paste yet” thing with the original iPhones. I’m looking for a flash-enabled browser in the very near future. I’m sure other gotcha’s like this will dribble out once the iPad actually gets in the hands of users, but for now, those are the two that surprised me the most.

Conclusions?

As things stand today, if someone were to buy me one as a gift, I’d gladly give it a permanent home in my laptop bag, where it would replace my (old and aging) iPod and probably also my Kindle. It would provide me with a good portable photo frame, video player and web browser, none of which I have today. I don’t think I’d use it for e-mail (except maybe an occasional one-off, blackberry style) and I’m pretty sure I’d never use the iWork apps. For those reasons, if I’m spending my own money, I’d probably save the $300 and buy an iPod Touch, which does OK as a photo frame, video player and web browser, and doesn’t make me pay for all that extra stuff I’d never use.

But that’s today. In the near future, I fully expect someone (be it Apple or a competitor) to take the ball from here and run with it. And if a similar device were to become available for less money, running the apps I’m used to using, and making it just as easy to create on a tablet as it is on a laptop, then I am so there.

One last thing: the name. There are two problems with it. The first is somewhat localized in the American northeast (specifically, Boston) where the word “iPad” and the word “iPod” sound way too similar for everyone’s liking. More globally, though, I join pretty much everyone in the world in wondering if there are any women who work in Apple’s marketing department. Or at least any men who might have remembered this from back in 2006:

Categories: ISBS Reviews, Tech Talk | 9 Comments »

ISBS Review: The Amazon Kindle

Sunday, December 27th, 2009

I realize that this probably would have been more useful before Christmas, but I’ve been using the Amazon Kindle for about a month now, and I’ve finally found the time to write up a review. So, if you didn’t get one for Christmas and you’ve got stuff to return at Amazon, maybe this will help you out.

One sentence: The Amazon Kindle is surprisingly good at what it does, but surprisingly stubborn in its desire to only do that one thing.

More than one sentence: When I read a book on the Amazon Kindle, I quite often forget that I’m not reading a real book, sometimes to the point where I reach for the upper-right corner of the page to turn it, rather than pushing the “Next Page” button. Reasons for this include screen resolution, form factor and simple design.

Read the rest of this entry »

Categories: ISBS Reviews, Tech Talk | 2 Comments »

How People Found Me – 2009 Edition

Thursday, December 24th, 2009

Back by popular demand (well, OK, back by Ilya’s demand, but heck – I’m easy…), it’s a roundup of the most interesting and/or disturbing Google searches that led people to I Should Be Sleeping.

I used to do this monthly, but eventually slacked off. So, to make up for it, I’ve culled through the 5,930 different queries that brought people here this year, and pulled out my favorite 50. I even divided them into categories for your reading pleasure…

1) The Financial Funnies

Since this year was all about the collapsing financial markets, I thought I’d start with some “money funnies…” (sorry, but you might as well be warned, it’s going to be that kind of blog post…):

QueryComments
dick fuld astrological birth chartThis guy has a different theory on why Lehman Brothers went out of business…
harvard man washes urinalsAnd you thought the recession was over…
how do i hack into the swift networkWell, you start by being a little more subtle than Googling around for directions…
time magizine people who caused bankingI think I’ve narrowed it down to two possibilities: bankers and customers.

2) Hi-Tech Hijinks

When you write about technology once in a while, you’re bound to get a few Google glitches:

QueryComments
capslock-sleepingi’d use proper capitalization, but my caps-lock key is taking a nap right now…
cool things to do with cameraOK – other than, you know, taking pictures – I’m struggling to think of a second thing you can do with a camera…
digital camera for idiotsPerhaps we just shouldn’t let them take pictures. Then there’d be no need for this product…
excel macro to create family treeClick here for more cousins…
how do i hook up an ethernet cable to the phone lineThose are both wires. I think, perhaps, you should go ask your teenage kids for help.
i phone bursting into flamesYou do? I hope you’re calling 9-1-1…
iphone noseWant to stop and smell the roses? There’s an app for that!
why won’t it let me on webkinz? it says my password is wrongI think perhaps this guy has already found the answer to his question…

3) Hollywood Hilarity

The world of entertainment is never a bad source for, well, entertaining queries:

QueryComments
disney koolaidYou know, it’s one thing to drink the Disney Kool-Aid. It’s quite another to Google around looking for it…
disney wonder bathroom fragranceFor people who want their bathrooms to smell like a Disney cruise ship (see Kool-Aid, Disney above).
simon cowell and mel gibson look alikeTop result of this search: No. No, they don’t. (Editor’s Note: Sadly, not true)
tiger woods facial recognitionHeh…this query probably meant something totally different earlier in the year than it means today.
upgrade r2-d2 to bluray“You must see this droid safely delivered to him on Alderaan. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; you’re my only hope. Also, if you could upgrade him to blu-ray, that’d be great. Thanks!”
what space shuttle was honored by its use of its name in a star trek movieOK, if you’re thinking “Enterprise,” then I’m sorry to inform you that the shuttle was named for the Star Trek ship, not the other way around…

4) Musical Mirth

This year, several of the more musical queries managed to hit a wrong note or two:

QueryComments
a song about graphs“Because you’re mine. . . . I draw a line.” Or perhaps: “You’re just too good to be true; can’t take my pies off of you.”
billy joel just the way you are analyzedIt’s nine o’clock on a Saturday, the patient lies down on the couch….
does billy joel’s piano have a teleprompterYes, yes it does. Billy Joel’s piano almost never speaks without a script.
good night my angle bill joel“Goodnight my angle?” Would this be “acute” lyric? Or am I being obtuse?
sleeping rappingAnother truly disturbing sleep disorder. I mean, if having two turntables in the bed isn’t disturbing enough, there’s all that noise
whats the name of the song that goes la de da de dum on verizon phoneJeez, I hope they spelled those lyrics correctly. Typos can really negatively affect search results…

5) Isn’t That Ironic?

These were the best of the worst (or something like that):

QueryComments
best bad foodBut if it’s bad food, then how can it be – oh, nevermind…
best error message ever“Your formula contains an error.” Oh, man – that’s a classic. Sometimes I type in wrong formulas on purpose, just to see it…
narcissistic blogsOn the one hand, it’s a bit of an insult that this query led to my blog. On the other hand, the person was looking for it…
new york rangers stadium phone numberYou might want to try Googling Madison Square Garden. Also known as the “World’s Most Famous Arena.” Perhaps they should get a different nickname?

6) Sleeping Around

With a name like I Should Be Sleeping, people are going to ask questions:

QueryComments
i am sleeping all my lifeSleep Googling – a dangerous affliction…
pitchers of people sleepingBecause once you’re ordering four or five sleeping people, it’s just easier to get a pitcher…
violation of sleeping rights“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of a really good nap.”

7) Stupid Criminals

A couple of people broke the laws of common-sense Googling this year:

QueryComments
a picture you killed abraham lincolnThis person apparently believes someone is going to confess to the crime…
does light dissuade criminalsLocal police chief does internet research on his latest crime prevention program: daylight.

8) Funny . . . or maybe a little scary?

These queries were more disturbing than anything else:

QueryComments
air force bloopers“Hey – remember that time when Johnson flew all the way across the Atlantic with his blinker on? That was heee-larious!”
birthday tricks on people like flamingos in the yardThis guy sounds like quite the prankster…
boys hugging houseI know Dorothy said “There’s no place like home,” but this is a bit much, don’t you think?
can i get sick from touching a geicoWell, if you could, I’m guessing they’d offer health insurance too. Perhaps you meant “gecko?”
highway bloggingThe precursor to texting while driving…
what’s wrong with anti semitism?Oh, lord – please let there be more results for this than the one about the bear doing the moon walk (Editor’s Note: 531,000 – proof that some sanity still exists in the world).
zombies funnyOh, yeah – zombies are hilarious. They really kill at the local comedy clubs. (Editor’s Note: sorry…)

9) Generic Google Guffaws

These were so weird, I couldn’t even categorize them:

QueryComments
how many f’s are in this sentenceNow we’re asking Google brain teasers? Did he actually expect an answer?
man in bear suit doing moon walkOh, lord – please let there be, at most, one result for this search. (Editor’s Note: 47,200…)
roughly 25% of us use two of these a day what are they?Again with the trivia? New from Google Labs in 2010: Google Guesses. Give it a riddle, and it tires to guess the answer. Most common result: “Who’s There?”
art turkeysMost popular search result: Vincent Van Gobble…
president electoral vote of 1014-62Well, given that there’s only 538 of them, one can only hope this search produces zero results. (Editor’s Note: 9)

10) A Dirty Mind

And then there’s the porn. Well, not exactly porn, but people who go looking for, shall we say, adult entertainment online, and wind up at my site somehow. Each time I do this, I take solace in the fact that when they got here, I can be pretty sure they were disappointed:

QueryComments
and he’s talking to davy who’s still in the navy +homoOh, come on – it says right there they were just talking
bathing no closeAlso known as “bathing far away?” I don’t think this person Googled what he he Googled…
excel macro suggestivePorn industry continues to innovate. New this year: suggestive macros. “Hey, big boy, click on this button and I’ll fill your column with numbers, if you know what I mean…”
why are there two people making out on my bed when i should be sleepingI’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that maybe it’s not your bed…
how to photograph your naked wifeTip #1: get off of Google and talk to her about it…

Well, there it is: my top 50 queries of 2009. Quite a year, huh?

Categories: Tech Talk | 4 Comments »

Wall Street Journal – Charging for Free Content?

Monday, October 19th, 2009

Remember when the Wall Street Journal’s online content was free? And then they decided to start charging for it? And then it was free again? But sometimes it’s not?

As it turns out, the Wall Street Journal has implemented a rather unique, some may even say bizarre, online access policy. If you go to their website and click on an article, you have to login with a paid subscription. But if you Google a particular topic and the same article comes back as a search result, you can click through and read the entire article for free. So, in other words, you can’t read the entire Wall Street Journal on their website without paying for it, but if you were curious enough to enquire about everything in it, they will gladly share their content with you for free.

Perhaps an example would be useful. Follow along in a separate browser instance if you like:
Read the rest of this entry »

Categories: Money Talk, Political Rantings, Tech Talk | No Comments »

On the Internet, Nobody Knows You’re a Dog . . . but it helps if they do!

Monday, October 19th, 2009

A colleague of mine just informed me that he joined Twitter. After weeding out the obvious spammers who would follow him if he would just please click this one link, he seems to have settled in at around ten followers.

On a lark, he also created a Twitter account for his daschund, Logan. Again, after weeding out the obvious spammers, Logan seems to have settled in at approximately seventy followers. Mostly women, he says, as well as a random assortment of dog lovers, kennels, and other seemingly legitimate dog-related vendors.

So, it would appear, that in the sixteen years since Peter Steiner first pointed out in The New Yorker magazine the anonymity that the Internet can provide, this very anonymity has turned out to reduce your audience size by a factor of roughly seven-to-one. Not only that, but it’s a pretty good bet that sometime in the next sixteen years, sociologists and linguists will come together to discover that the previous sentence actually does makes sense…

Categories: Tech Talk | No Comments »

Why Are We Still Arguing About Keyboards?

Tuesday, September 29th, 2009

Speculist has an item up that once again bemoans the inferior QWERTY keyboard that persists over the superior Dvorak keyboard, despite its roots as a mechanical speed bump to prevent fast typists from jamming early typewriters. Speculist examines this age-old issue, as you might imagine, from a new perspective – that of the sticking power of well-established standards in the face of newer, better alternatives. They provide examples of other “QWERTYies” in our world – the English measuring system, the “office at work” in a work-at-home world, and others. Pretty interesting stuff…

A commenter took it one step further: a lot of our newer keyboards are not physical devices, but virtual keyboards appearing on a touch screen device (iPhone, Palm Pre, etc.). Surely, it would be easier to swap between QWERTY and Dvorak on those devices, right? All of the problems surrounding the conversion of physical keyboards melt away – you don’t need multiple keyboard drivers, you don’t have to worry about relabeling (or dual-labeling) the physical keys, multiple users of the device can change the setting back without having to know what it’s currently set to, and so on.

But then I got to thinking: touch-screen, “virtual” keyboards can do even better. They can let the users customize their own keyboard layouts. Perhaps you learned to type on a QWERTY keyboard, but your last name contains a “Z,” and it’s always bugged you that this frequently typed key was stuck on the weak, pinkie finger of your left hand. What’s to prevent you from starting with a QWERTY layout, and then swapping the “Z” key with, let’s say, the “J” or the “M” key? Or maybe you’re a writer/blogger/twitterer who writes a lot about UNIX. You could swap the home-row keys on your dominant hand from “JKL;” to “UNIX” (finding new homes for the the J, K, L, and semi-colon keys, of course). Any combination should be equally easy for the device – after all, they must have a graphics map built somewhere already that tells them what spot(s) on the touchscreen correspond to each letter. So all they’d have to do is update that map!

The downside, of course, would be that your customized keyboard wouldn’t be (automatically) available on other devices. For something as ubiquitous as an iPhone, that could be solved by allowing users to e-mail their keyboard layouts to each other, or post them on websites for easy download/installation, reverting back to the original when the guest is done typing. More ad-hoc devices (like public kiosks, for instance) might have to stick with a common few – also selectable by the user at start-up.

Suddenly, it occurs to me that there’s another definition of QWERTYies. They’re not just standards that stick because we’ve all become accustomed to them. In some cases, they’re standards that exist because we used to need standards in places where we don’t anymore. Telephone rings come to mind – it used to be that every telephone had the same RRRRRRING!!!!! Today, we have the ring-tone. TV Remote Controls used to have standard layouts, depending on the model of your TV. Today, universal remotes can be programmed with any layout and/or new key combinations.

I’m sure there are more, and I’m equally sure that as time goes on, the list will only get longer. In the meantime, though, I’m going to start designing my ideal, personalized keyboard…

Categories: Tech Talk | 3 Comments »

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