I happened to catch him on Letterman's show tonight. I've heard his old stuff so frequently, that it never occurred to me that he's still writing jokes. Anyway, here are the ones that stuck in my memory. Same old Steven Wright. Absolutely classic:

In school they told me "Practice makes perfect," and then they told me "Nobody's perfect," so I stopped practicing.

Imagine if you could see an itch?

Imagine how weird a phone would look if your mouth were nowhere near your ears?

A friend of mine has a trophy wife, but apparently it wasn't first place.