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About the Blog

The thoughts and theories of a guy who basically should have gone to bed hours ago.

I know, I know - what's the point? But look at it this way - I stayed up late writing it, but you're reading it...

Let's call ourselves even & move on, OK?

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Monday, August 06, 2007

How People Found Me - July Edition

The Categories

CategoryJuly CountJune Count
Billy Joel6076
Celebrity Look Alikes5070
Overrated Films1919
ISBS Song/Lyrics1410

For the second month in a row, technology related queries lead the list, surpassing the once dominant Billy Joel entries. In fact, Billy Joel is in serious danger of dropping to #3, behind the inexplicably popular Celebrity Look-a-Like searches. New to the list this month are searches involving politics, searches directly involving me or my family, and a small uptick in searches for the Cal/Stanford "big game" and searches for the lyrics to a country song called "I Should be Sleeping Instead of Dreaming About You," which I've never heard.

The Referring Sites

New to the referral section this month are, a blog belonging to a friend and colleague who is currently residing in London and keeping his American (and Russian) friends & family up to date on his travels, who was nice enough to link to one of my posts (for more on that phenomenon, click here), and, where a commenter on one of their forums (which I didn't know existed until now), quoted one of my posts. All told, the above links resulted in roughly 25 visits & roughly 30 pageviews (or about 2% of the total).

The Keywords

All told, 563 queries resulted in hits to in July (about 120 fewer than were used in June). Here are some samples:

We begin with the odd and interesting:
QueryRank / # of ResultsComments
its a groovy time for a movie time4 / 1,490,000I didn't realize I was the purveyor of Austin Powers-inspired cinematic marketing slogans
feel something wrong with the world7 / 50,800,000Gotta love this logic: 1) feel something wrong with the world, 2) Google it, 3) Click on a link to find out what it is. Sorry to disappoint...
do you want to display the nonsecure items? explorer boring31 / 309Boring? I've heard it called lots of things, but never boring...
who sang dum de da34 / 279,000Er....I'm guessing just about everyone at one time or another, no?
examples of teenage cellphone voicemails148 / 271,000Are there really such things on the internet? And who's searching for them?
what are stem cells good for270 / 2,150,000It's actually quite an impressive list, and I'm proud to be on it...
ratings graph chart evening news katie couric -debut>500 / 17,700I think someone finally figured out that her debut was the exception, huh?
who needs a babysitter in lakewood,oh>500 / 21,900Quite a specific request for Google. Serves 'em right for clicking through to my site...
chez greenberg>500 / 270,000Oui, Oui, Bonjour Madame e Monsieur. Ca va?
how to sneak things onto a cruise>500 / 295,000We at ISBS do not condone such behavior...
wind blew my car into my own home will insurance pay for the damage to the home>500 / 310,000OK, this guy either lives in a tornado zone, or he has the worst excuse for driving his care into his house I've ever heard...
what do i do when my bank account balance vanished?>500 / 556,000World's most desparate Google Query?
rationale of gambling>500 / 698,000Gee, I hope it's not the same guy as the one above...
i've been working on the railroad>500 / 1,640,000Seriously? Someone should write a song about you...
sleeping the laptop good?>500 / 1,900,000Ladies & Gentlemen, the winner of this month's foreign language query!
most interesting google searches>500 / 65,000,000A query for interesting Google searches turns up a page with a list of interesting Google searches. head hurts.
one of these please>500 / 528,000,000Er...sure - help yourself. (What could he/she possibly have been Googling for?)
fighter jets over leominster man/a / 432Again, the logic astounds: hear fighter jets, Google, click on for answers...
guess the dictator sitcom star>500 / 45,500Sounds hysterical...

And now, for the first time since I've been doing this, we come upon some queries that are, shall we say, "adult" in nature (WARNING: you have been warned):

QueryRank / # of ResultsComments
advancements about cervical incompetence (2005-2007)n/a / 107OK, it's a little explicit, but it's medical, so we'll give it a pass...
did harry potter sleep with emma365 / 491,000Now, now - that's just wrong...
naked pictures of kristy brinkley>500 / 167,000OK, we've achieved the common every porn search...
sleeping sex movie>500 / 3,300,000More creative, and more relevant to this site, but still rather common...
mother inlaw in lingerie>500 / 348,000Bingo - now we're into the bizarre. Forgive me while I go wash a mental image out of my head...
he gets it up the ass by a heshe1 / 713,000Well, that'll do it. Thanks. The bad news is, this is the only #1 on the list this month. The good news is this query somehow made it's way to my post on Michael Moore...
videos of any president peeing>500 / 921,000Oh, man - seriously?


posted by Brian at 11:42 PM


  • I must say that I haven't laughed this hard at a written material in a long time. Does being a tech exec really pay better than being a comedy writer?

    By Blogger ilya, at 5:49 PM, August 16, 2007  

  • Well, if you're the Ilya I think you are, then you already know the answer to that question...

    By Blogger Brian, at 10:57 PM, August 16, 2007  

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