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About the Blog

The thoughts and theories of a guy who basically should have gone to bed hours ago.

I know, I know - what's the point? But look at it this way - I stayed up late writing it, but you're reading it...

Let's call ourselves even & move on, OK?

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Sunday, December 02, 2007

How People Found Me - November Edition

The Categories

CategoryNovember CountOctober Count
Billy Joel237183
Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree970
Celebrity Look Alikes4954
Overrated Films1812
Bruce Springsteen427
ISBS Song118

Queries were up dramatically again this month (943 vs. 736), thanks to an explosion of Billy Joel queries, an even bigger explosion (you should pardon the expression) of Adult/Porn-related queries, my Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree photoblog, and a couple of posts I did on TicTacs. And you thought these How People Found Me posts were self-indulgent and boring...

After months of lagging slightly behind Technology, Billy Joel has surged past it with 237 unique queries in the month of November (up almost 30% from October). Back in October, I was shocked to see I had 23 unique Adult/Porn-Related queries that brought people to my site. Well, in November, it was 149. That's me - the Larry Flynt of the microblogosphere. Hah! Meanwhile, keep reading and check out some of the things people Google for (and then click through to my site for!) Words fail. In other news, fourteen separate TicTac related queries brought people to my site. Read about those below as well - it's hard not to laugh at just about any Google query about TicTacs, but these are especially rich.

Also interesting this month are the types of queries that dropped in popularity. Politics is down 47%, which probably has more to do with me not blogging about it than people not caring about it. Baseball is down 73%, which also makes sense given that October contained the post-season and November contains contract negotiations. Also, that country song with "I Should Be Sleeping" in the title seems to have run it's course - queries are down a whopping 95%. And in news that is sure to bother the Jersey crowd, queries about Bruce Springsteen dropped off a whopping 85%. Like baseball, though, Bruce wrapped up his big season in October.

The Referring Sites

This month's referring site of the month award goes to, James Lileks, proprietor. James posted something about Christmas lights this month, and I replied in the comments with a link to my Rockefeller Center exploits (hey - a little self-promotion never hurt anyone). My comment generated 130 pageviews from 36 unique visitors. Those Minnesotans are so nice, aren't they?

I also tried my hand at self-promotion on a New York Times blog called Dot Earth, which had talked about New York's efforts to make the tree more enviro-friendly. Again, my efforts yielded results - 61 pageviews from 17 unique visitors.

The Keywords

All told, a whopping 943 queries resulted in hits to in November (207 more than were used in October). Here are some of the more entertaining samples:

We start with Billy Joel, in honor of his recent Google surge. There were bound to be some winners in a field of 237:

QueryRank / # of ResultsComments
billy hoel 2007 concert song list1 / 13,500Once again, I prove to be the poor speller's best friend.
billy joel life homo1 / 211,000You'd think once a guy married (and had a child with) Christie Brinkley, questions about his sexuality would stop. But, noooooo....
billy joel sober now?11 / 123,000Man, I hope this was a fan and not his mother. Or his doctor...

Next, we move on to the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree. Again, with that many queries, there are bound to be one or two gems:

QueryRank / # of ResultsComments
taco bell near Rockefeller Center7 / 50,300I list this as a query about the Christmas Tree, but it's really about baseball. In fact, the query's author could very well be me. When Taco Bell announced it was giving everyone in America a free taco because someone stole a base in the World Series, I went Googling around for a Taco Bell near my office (there isn't one).
2007 Rockefeller Christmas tree falls off truck>500 / 9,210Let me save you some time: No, it didn't.

Next, we move on to TicTacs. I remind you, these aren't all the TicTac related queries from which I received hits, these are just the funniest five:

QueryRank / # of ResultsComments
Christmas color tic-tacs>500 / 16,800Someone's getting a pretty lousy Christmas gift this year, huh?
french tic tacs29 / 26,800For that special someone on your list who doesn't like the TicTacs with Christmas colors...
the truth about tic-tacs1 / 19,000Glad to be #1 on the list of people who help put all those nasty TicTac rumors to rest... sex1 / 32I'm one part disgusted and one part intrigued. What exactly does this mean? I mean how do you...? Where do you...? Why would you...? Nevermind all that, why am I the #1 search result?
what are in tictacs>500 / 219,000For the discerning halitosis sufferer. The FDA is always saying, you don't want to clean your breath with something until you know what's in it. Sensible.

Now it's time for our two monthly features. First, the generally wild and wacky:

QueryRank / # of ResultsComments
emmy rossum's nose16 / 64,900I Should Be Sleeping - Blogging celebrity body parts since 2005.
how long a concert should be9 / 11,100,000It rather depends on who's performing, doesn't it?
mark pershes1 / 465This is actually quite touching. My wife's grandfather passed away this month at the age of 92. On the day of his funeral, two people Googled his name and cruised around my site, looking at old pictures of him with our family.
clonk scenarios1 / 1Back in July, a Google search for this phrase led someone to my site, despite the word "Clonk" not appearing anywhere on it. Today, the only result of the search "clonk scenarios" is my July "How People Found Me" report marvelling at how it happened the first time. Seems we have a self-fulfilling trend developing here...
no man is an island statue of liberty>500 / 1,100,000It's the second half of the cliche that you don't hear too often: "No man is an island, but one woman is - the Statue of Liberty."
my yahoo emails have gone to outlook8 / 1,2340,000Heh... makes it sound like they went there on their own accord. So when will they be back? Did you get a postcard? I hear Outlook is lovely in winter...

And finally, the Adult/Porn-Related queries. I'm starting to think that maybe posting the strangest ones in these monthly updates is what's driving the traffic. I can only hope that some of these folks stick around and find something more, er....wholesome to read than what they were looking for:

QueryRank / # of ResultsComments
500 guys sleeping nude>500 / 116,000When 499 guys just isn't enough...
daddie son sex pics>500 / 2,040,000Ick. Ick, ick, ick. This guy's a child molester and a poor speller. Ick, ick, ick, ick....
Disney cartoon nude pictures>500 / 227,000With all the porn available on the Internet, you'd think this wouldn't be necessary. And yet, 227,000 people seem to disagree...
how to photograph your naked wife>500 / 117,000Well, I'd think the first step would be to ask her. Step #2 probably involves staying off the Internet for a while...
my naked wife on facebook>500 / 929,000Now, you see? This is what ignoring the rules above leads to...
rate my naked sleeping wife pics>500 / 1,090,000...and now we're asking for opinion polls. Stop the madness, people!
nude pic brian is 14>500 / 234, 000Oh, ick, ick, ick. A thousand times ick. Who are these people? Ya know what, on second thought, I really don't wanna know...
pictures of gross nude people>500 / 1,900,000But if you think they're gross, then why...? Oh, I give up...
pitchers of sex>500 / 330,000OK, this is classic. Because you know, if someone ever figured out how to bottle it, bars would be selling it in pitchers by the first weekend...
sleeping breasts>500 / 775,000Funny - I never thought of them as sleeping. I'm guessing they'd be quite uncomfortable for the woman when they woke up and tried to stumble to the kitchen for breakfast...
sleeping porn family258 / 1,930,000Ah yes, we know the Sleeping Porn family. Husband, Wife, two adorable kids. They sure do spend a lot of time in the house, though...
pictures of how to sleep naked>500 / 268,000Whoever came to my site looking for pictures was disappointed, but I think I can provide the proper steps in text: 1) Take off clothes, 2) fall asleep. Any questions?

posted by Brian at 1:52 AM


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