Avery is five years old now. That means his Bar Mitzvah will be in roughly eight years. So if Bar Mitzvah's cost $10 million today, how much do you think I should set aside for the event in 2013?

Also, note to self: make sure someone in the band brings a naked woman to the affair, er...., party:

For his estimated $500,000, I hear that 50 Cent performed only four or five songs - and badly - though he did manage to work in the lyric, "Go shorty, it's your bat miztvah, we gonna party like it's your bat mitzvah."

"Fitty and his posse smelled like an open bottle of Hennessy," a witness told told me, adding that when the departing rapper prepared to enter his limo in the loading dock, a naked woman was spotted inside.

OK, everyone say it with me: Oy...