My employer, Bank of America, is offering free online equity trades to qualified customers. Great.

We're handing out snappy looking T-shirts with a big $0 on the front on the streets of New York. Terrific.

We've rented a bunch of double-decker tour buses and a combo band to sit on the upper level of each one and play snappy music to go along with the snappy T-shirts. Cool.

We've parked one of these tour buses on 50th Street & Rockefeller Plaza, where lots of people can walk by, hear the music, get a T-Shirt, and eventually sign up for the service. Ingenious.

Here's the downside: 50th & Rockefeller puts the bus right outside my office window, which means I've been listening to snappy music for the last couple of hours with no end in sight, AND I don't even get a T-Shirt!!!

Grrrrrr........