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Archive for February, 2008

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So how was you’re commute this morning?

Tuesday, February 5th, 2008

This is Brian Greenberg, blogging live from a very crowded Penn Station in midtown Manhattan. Conditions here are as follows: GIANTS. FANS. EVERYWHERE.

AND no one knows which subway to take, so they’re all standing in the middle of crowded hallways reading directions they printed out off the web, AND they all need to purchase a single-trip Metrocard for the subway, AND none of them know how the machine works, AND I just got hit in the face with a couple of hundred red, white and blue balloons being lugged through the rush hour crowd by some guy with dollar signs in his eyes.

Oh, and I’m pretty sure a bunch of these folks are drunk.

Sigh…Enjoy the parade, folks, I’m late to my 9am meeting.

(P.S. To all you smug commuters that drive or take the bus, note that there’s a party at Giants stadium at 2:30pm this afternoon. Have fun with that traffic on the way home!)

Categories: Sports Talk | No Comments »

Hey, Red Sox Nation…

Sunday, February 3rd, 2008

This one’s for you:

 

You’ve got baseball. You can have basketball (after college, who cares any more anyway…), but football is ours. Better luck next year.

THE GIANTS WIN THE SUPERBOWL!
THE GIANTS WIN THE SUPERBOWL!

Sincerely,
The City of New York

Categories: Sports Talk | 2 Comments »

How People Found Me – January Edition

Sunday, February 3rd, 2008

The Categories

Category January Count November Count
Technology 221 191
Billy Joel 110 237
DSL 52 29
Celebrity Look Alikes 38 49
Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree 21 97
Adult/Porn-Related 19 149
Cal/Stanford 19 25
Politics 16 8
Penn 15 6
Hava Nagila 12 0
Overrated Films 10 18
The Simpsons 11 0
TicTacs 0 14

Queries were down slightly this month (662 vs. 783). Billy Joel, who had taken the lead in November (the last time I compiled these stats), has fallen back to a comfortable #2 slot, behind the almighty Technology related queries (why don’t I write about technology more?), and queries about DSL modems in particular surged almost 80% to 52. Queries about the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree seem to have abated (as expected), and Adult/Porn related queries have also dropped off dramatically (almost 90% to a mere 19). The big winners this month were politics (duh…), Hava Nagila (a top ten pop hit in Britain now) and The Simpsons (two posts in a row!).

The Referring Sites

This month’s referring site of the month award goes to CNN.com, who linked to one of my political blog entries via their “Sphere” service.

My only attempt at self-promotion this month was to send my Penn-related Simpsons post to IvygateBlog, who summarily ignored it, choosing instead to show pictures of Kevin Bacon playing ping pong in the frat house he helped immortalize via Animal House. So a big “What am I, chopped liver?” to the folks at IvyGateBlog.

The Keywords

All told, 662 queries resulted in hits to Familygreenberg.com in January (121 less than were used in Novemberr). Here are some of the more entertaining samples:

We start with Technology, this month’s leader in ISBS queries:

Query Rank / # of Results Comments
boot camp how to switch back to osx,
how to switch back from windows on bootcamp
>500 / 310,000,
>500 / 458,000
A perfectionally reasonable thing to Google, but the image of a Mac owner stuck in Windows with no idea how to get back to the Mac OS just makes me laugh
excel makro create table 3 / 990,000 I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: “I Should Be Sleeping: catering to bad spellers since 2005″
numerical format not acknowledged in lotus 123 28 / 10,900 It is well known that the eventual downfall of Lotus 123 was it’s inability to handle numbers.
usb wine >500 / 703,000 Ah yes, wine. A lovely complement to a fine meal and a kick-ass USB peripheral. Just try to get the keyboard wet…
ie smooth scrolling not smooth enough 25 / 516,000 What you need is the ironing add-on. Works wonders for smoothing out the scrolling…

And here are some of the just plain weird ones:

Query Rank / # of Results Comments
“beatles” “calculator icon” 9 / 34 I honestly have no idea what this guy was even looking for.
yakov smirnoff intel 18 / 1,620 Same thing here – what could he possibly have been looking for…
dealornodeal >500 / 86,500 An interesting approach to playing the game. I know people used to use Google for Who Wants to be a Millionaire, but I don’t know if it’s as helpful for this one.
flamingos threatened >500 / 230,000 OK, you dirty birds, put your legs where I can see ‘em. Both of ‘em! Do as I say or I’ll turn that pink into a darker shade of red. Catch my drift?
graphs and chart on family planning in pakistan 2007 46 / 167,000 It’s good to see responsible Pakistanis doing such careful planning before starting a family.
hanson update 15 / 481,000 Evidence that the Hanson brothers’ mom uses Google. After all, who else…
irish marching bands, levittown,pa. 19 / 772 Yes, that’s right. 772 results. You should see Levittown’s St. Patrick’s Day parade…
is brian greenberg nice? 23 / 382,000 As Dave Barry would say, “I am not making this up.” If you’re still out there, please allow me to say I certainly hope I am!
saint valentines day sexist nonsense 29 / 16,600 Ironic. This guy (and yes, it has to be a guy) googled in January, and I posted this in February.
“self destructing scaffold” 2 / 2 Well, that sounds like quite the design flaw, no?

And finally, the Adult/Porn-Related queries. As I said above, pickings were slim this month, so I had to expand my definition of “Adult” to include alcohol as well as sex. Here you go:

Query Rank / # of Results Comments
anheuser busch powerpoint templates 6 / 1,770 The technical approach to getting wasted.
drunks >500 / 4,870,000 The simpler approach (although, I’ll note, he’s still using Google…)
brothel + poland >500 / 128,000 Hey, cool – the hotel has free Wifi. We’ll use the internet to find things to do here in Warsaw…
does ashley tisdale sleep naked >500 / 173,000 Oh, come on people – she’s in Disney movies, for pete’s sake…
pitchers of nude people >500 / 150,000 Three possibilities here: 1) another bad speller, 2) someone’s got an awfully huge pitcher lying around, or 3) Jeffrey Dahmer’s been Googling again…
selma hayek + porn look alike >500 / 73,700 Your favorite celebrity doesn’t take her clothes off often enough for you? Go find someone who looks like her and does. Ya gotta admit, there’s an element of sheer genius here…

Categories: Blogging about Blogs | No Comments »

Familygreenberg.com Health Check – January Edition

Sunday, February 3rd, 2008
Metric December January % Change
Visits 1,452 1,245 -14.26%
Pageviews 2,317 1,803 -22.18%
Pages/Visit 1.6 1.45 -9.25%
Avg Time on Site 0:47 0:49 4.69%
Bounce Rate 79.68% 81.77% -2.62%
% New Visitors 88.29% 86.99% -1.48%

Two down months in a row. Clearly, I need to step up my game. In the “Behind Every Bad Report is a Good Excuse” category, I will note that I basically took the first two weeks of January off, as I was out of town with the family during that time. In fact, if you look at the daily graph (below) of visits per day, you’ll see that December (in green) had January (in blue) beat consistently for the first two weeks, then it became a horserace, and then January took over the lead.

Lesson learned: To paraphrase Dory the Fish: Just keep blogging, just keep blogging…

Categories: Blogging about Blogs | No Comments »

A New Take on Valentine’s Day

Sunday, February 3rd, 2008

Got Anger?

I thought this was a new way to express the male point of view about the Hallmarkiest Hallmark holiday of the year.

Click on the image for more Valentine’s Day gift ideas…

(hat tip: Chris Bellis)

Categories: Random Acts of Blogging | No Comments »

What a Super Few Days…

Sunday, February 3rd, 2008

So just about everyone knows that today is Super Sunday. Something about a football game

As they say in the infomercials, though: “But wait, there’s more!”

Tomorrow, my kids’ school is having “Super Monday,” where the kids are encouraged to wear clothing to signify their favorite sports teams.

The next day, the same school is hosting “Super Tuesday,” wherein they will discuss the election process, civic responsibility, and current events.

Man, Wednesday is going to be a real let down, huh?

UPDATE: I was informed last night that Wednesday is actually Ash Wednesday, so it won’t be ordinary for some. So some folks will make it all the way to Thursday before their next “normal” day. Glad we cleared that up, huh?

Categories: Random Acts of Blogging | No Comments »

What you want to see on your screen on Friday afternoon…

Friday, February 1st, 2008

Ahhh, that feels SOOOO good.

(Yes, still a geek. Fellow geeks understand completely – trust me…)

Categories: Random Acts of Blogging | 4 Comments »

Just Drop the Laptop in the Mail Slot…

Friday, February 1st, 2008

My officemate was the first person to pick up a MacBook Air from the Apple Store in midtown Manhattan. Here I am demoing it’s most famous feature:

That’s a Dell Latitude D610 on my right (your left) and the Macbook Air on my left.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to stop typing. My right hand is sore.

(Oh, PS – he took the picture and e-mailed it to me with his iPhone. We are such geeks…)

Categories: Tech Talk | 1 Comment »

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