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Liveblogging the 2008 Election
By Brian | November 5, 2008 | Share on Facebook
Everyone was doing it with the debates, right? What the heck…
7:48pm – McCain has won Kentucky, Obama has won Vermont. The current electoral college tally is McCain 8, Obama 3. It’s a landslide! McCain has almost three times the votes Obama has. The McCain party is probably going crazy. Of course, we don’t know for sure because his party is private, by invitation only. Obama’s party, on the other hand, seems to be encompassing all of the public land in the city of Chicago.
7:50pm – New Hampshire is currently leaning toward Obama 32 to 16. That’s not percentages, that’s a total of 48 voters and how they voted. In 2012, a yet-to-be-launched cable channel will list individual New Hampshire voters’ names prior to 8pm.
7:54pm – McCain has won South Carolina, making the total McCain 16, Obama 3. McCain is definitely well on his way on the march to 27. Wait, what? 270? Oh, well, I guess I better turn the TV back on then…
7:58pm – NBC has Luke Russert reporting live from a room full of young voters. It’s equal parts touching and creepy.
8:01pm – Obama has won the entire east coast plus Illinois and Pennsylvania (the first state that was even close to being a surprise, but not really…). McCain won Tennessee and Oklahoma. Electoral College is now Obama 103, McCain 58.
8:30pm – NBC is now taking applications for pundits to fill the hour between 8pm and 9pm, when absolutely nothing changes.
9:01pm – Obama takes Michigan, Minnesota, and Wisconsin. McCain gets some more southern and mid-western states. Electoral College is now 175 to 70. Good news for McCain: Florida is still to close to call. Bad news: So is Arizona.
9:07pm – McCain takes Bill Clinton’s home state of Arkansas. Of course, Hillary Clinton has two home states, and neither of them are Arkansas, saving her some embarrassment this evening. 175 – 76, Obama.
9:10pm – Governor Patterson of New York is explaining how Barack Obama won the election. He also referred to Obama as the descendant of “those who enslaved and those who were slaves.” Brian Williams is carefully reminding everyone that it ain’t over until it’s over, or at least until the networks call it over with 2% of the votes counted. Also, that the Governor of New York is a little bit crazy.
9:13pm – McCain advisor to NBC: “Tonight, we need a miracle.” NBC immediately seeks out new ways to maintain some sense of drama, even though everyone knows what’s about to happen.
9:15pm – Rudy Giuliani becomes the first Republican to say, “after all this is over, we all become Americans.”
9:18pm – The Senate is “Net + 4” for the Democrats.
9:30pm – Ohio to Obama. “No Republican has won the White House without winning Ohio.” I think it’s over now, but of course, NBC’s sponsors prohibit NBC from saying so. Louisiana to McCain, new Mexico to Obama. 200-85, Obama. at this point, I just want it to end by 10pm, so I can watch John Stewart and Steven Colbert in peace…
9:33pm – NBC has admitted that if Obama wins California, Oregon and Washington, he passes 270. But keep watching! Maybe we’ll catch bin Laden in the next 15 minutes!
9:39pm – NBC is now explaining how green screens work. Also, West Virginia to McCain. 200-90, Obama.
9:47pm – Anne Thompson: Obama won Ohio because “God, Guns, and Gays” were not on the ballot this year. where do they find these people? Also, Ohio seems to have figured out how to conduct an election this year – no voting troubles, long lines, etc. reported this time around.
9:53pm – When you’re in the New York area, the cut to the local news looks really silly. They leave Rockefeller Center, run a cool graphic, and then return to Rockefeller Center, where they repeat the same news we all just heard from the national guys.
9:57pm – New Jersey senator Frank Lautenberg, who retired from the senate years ago, had a local train station named after him, then took over the race from Robert Torricelli in 2002 when Torricelli resigned after admitting to illegal activity, has won a fifth (non-consecutive) term. He’s 84 years old now, and will be 90 when his term ends.
10:00pm – Texas for McCain, Iowa for Obama, Utah for McCain. No surprises there. 207-129, Obama.
10:12pm – DVR’ing the actual election and watching the previously DVR’ed John Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Me like funny man. Ha Ha Ha. Funny man funny…
10:18pm – Steven Colbert has just announced that South Carolina is this year’s “bonus state,” which triples your Electoral College score. This changes everything…
10:22pm – Checking back with reality. The McCain headquarters have got a country singer singing to what is apparently an empty room. Meanwhile, Obama’s party in Grant Park, Chicago is celebrating the Phillies’ World Series win, since they’ve got roughly the same number of people Philadelphia had. Also, Mississippi went for McCain. 207-135 now. Oooh….getting closer. Yeah, right…
10:25pm – NBC gives Luke Russert another shout out to represent the “youth vote.” Basically, he’s standing in a room at Indiana University, filled with a bunch of people roughly his age. They are all very, very excited to be on television.
10:30pm – Arizona is still too close to call. You’ve gotta believe that all McCain wants right now is to take Arizona and go home…
10:36pm – John Oliver of the Daily Show: The financial crisis has reached such proportions that the Chinese are now legally allowed to own us as pets. The next step is when Americans begin e-mailing Nigerian princes asking for money (Note to Nigerians: don’t do it. It’s a scam). Funny man is funny…. Oh, look! A tree!!!
10:42pm – Another check with reality – McCain gets Nebraska. 207-142. Also, now that McCain has Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Nebraska, South Dakota and North Dakota, he has successfully connected Mexico to Canada. Reports from Phoenix are that McCain tragically thought he was playing a game of Block Busters, hosted by Bill Russell in 1974. News that these six states do not give him the presidency has, apparently, hit him very hard. In a related story, Sarah Palin is reported to be winking uncontrollably and is being seen by doctors. More later….
10:54pm – Local news break. Six minutes until California’s results come in and everyone goes crazy.
11:00pm – It’s over. Obama wins the presidency after taking California, Oregon and Washington State (284-146). Grant Park is now celebrating like the Yankees just won the World Series. Chants of “Yes, We Did!” Tears and smiles all over. I bet Obama’s thinking about his grandmother right now. And I bet Hillary feels cheated, although she’d never admit it to anyone.
11:07pm – NBC has an African-American congressman on air listing famous African Americans. In the meantime, Obama took Virginia. At any rate, we’re at 297-146.
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