Archive for June, 2010
Some random humor from my e-mail inbox:
First, my friend Jeff Porten shows what happens when you eat lamb chops while listening to Elton John:
Bo combs my fleece next morn adorned
Zero hour six AM
And I’m gonna be munching grass and straw till then
The NASA satellite was low and tight
That caught my sheepskin fuzz
Ovis aries meets Ares
And I think it’s gonna be a long long time
Got four legs waving in the air sublime
I’m not the lamb they think is all alone
Oh no no no. I’m a rocket lamb.
Rocket lamb, glad I’m wearing wool ’cause it’s awf’ly cold.
Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids
Leave them with the goats’ next door
Or their heads will bug out bad like Arnold’s did.
I see Spirit stuck there, down in the sand
In space there’s no one to hear you bleat
A rocket lamb, a rocket lamb.
And this orbit is still stuck on full repeat
No fancy gyroscope gives me a sign
I’d be better off as gyro meat
Oh no no no no no. I’m a rocket lamb.
Rocket lamb, Peep has no business raising sheep
Not to be outdone, Steve Walsh responded with this Paul McCartney tribute:
Well the grain exploded with a mighty crash, as we leapt over the trough,
And the first one said to the second one, “baaah”
Lamb on the run, lamb on the run,
And the farmer man and the upholstery stand, were searching everyone,
For the lamb on the run, lamb on the run, lamb on the run, lamb on the run
Well the shearer drew a heavy sigh, seeing no spool of wool had come,
And a bell was ringing in the village square, for the rabbits on the run
[NOTE: actual line!]
Lamb on the run, lamb on the run.
OK, so the first one is cute, but the second one is a challenge. So at that point, I turn to Billy Joel for inspiration:
There’s nine in our flock on a Saturday
But yesterday it was ten
There’s a sheep dog standing next to me
Making sure no one else leave the pen
He says, “Son, you appear to be musical
which for you, might seem quite absurd
But if you would please bleat a song that is sweet
Then I can keep track of this herd
baa baa baa, b- b- baa baa
baa baa, b- b- baa, baa baaaaaaaaaaaaa
Sing us a song, you’re the piano lamb
Sing us a song right now
’cause Mary is peeved I let one of you leave
and now she’s stuck eating the cow..
So there you go. Three guys writing song parodies who aren’t the least bit sheepish…
(Too much? Yeah, you’re right. Sorry…)
People with tickets to see Denzel Washington in Fences at Broadway’s Cort theater will go to extraordinary means to get a good parking spot:
(to be fair, the building next to the theater is a parking garage, and the roof is just the top floor of the circular ramp that cars use to park. But I like the visual…)
Their shared birthday, June 26th, and a penchant for sports may be the only two things that apply to both of these guys…
One of the Nicest Guys in Sports
Forever in the Dog House
I just got this e-mail at work today:
The copy goes on & on about how good the pretzels are, but all I can think of when I look at the ad is “Now at Rockefeller Center: GLOWING PRETZELS!”
Memo to Auntie Anne: next time a little lighter on the Photoshop, ‘mkay?
On June 20th, these two guys are likely thinking about vastly different things. But they’re both thinking, “Hey – it’s my birthday!”
Fictional King Ralph of England
Actual Prime Minister of Iraq
OK, by now, just about everyone has seen this image of British goalkeeper, Robert Green, mishandling an easy shot on goal from the U.S. World Cup Soccer team, tying the game at 1-1:
But how many people do you think noticed the advertisement right behind him that cautions, “Stay Alert!”
If only Mr. Green had taken a minute to read the sign, maybe things would have been different… ;-)
Whatever the astrologers have to say about people born on June 14th, they couldn’t possibly be correct for both:
“You Come and Go-o-o-o-ooooo”
Last night, my younger son, Brandon, asked me, “Daddy, can I have a blog?” When I asked why he wanted a blog, he told me he wanted to post pictures of baseball fields and funny houses. Of course, no father could possibly argue with such sound logic, and so, without further adieu, I present to you all: Brandon’s Blog.
It also has a place of honor on the top menubar of this site, in case you lose the URL and need a fix of ballfields and funny houses.
In the spirit of encouraging young bloggers, if you’re reading this and are so inclined, please take a peek over there, rate some pictures (Funny, Cool, or Interesting), and maybe even leave a comment. I’m sure he’d get a kick out of that. Thanks!
It’s been quite a while since I posted about politics around here, but tonight I want to talk a little about two of the hot-button topics that have permeated politics in recent months: health care and financial reform. And while I’m at it, I’ll throw in a little about the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, just for good measure.
Not interested? No offense taken. Move on to bigger and better things. Up for the discussion? Read on…
Pop quiz: what’s so interesting about this screen grab from Desperate Housewives?
Answer: you’ve probably seen this newspaper before. Click here for more.