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Dave Barry’s Year in Review

By Brian | February 9, 2009 | Share on Facebook

I used to read Dave Barry’s stuff all the time, and then he kind of fell off my radar. This afternoon, his name popped into my head for some reason, so I went searching, and wound up at his annual Year in Review. This feature of his never disappoints, and 2008 is no exception.

Here are some samples, but as the Instapundit likes to say, read the whole thing!


JANUARY. . . begins, as it does every four years, with presidential contenders swarming into Iowa and expressing sincerely feigned interest in corn.


In FEBRUARY . . . the undefeated New England Patriots lose the Super Bowl to the New York Giants in a stunning upset that confounds the experts, not to mention Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, which had $38 billion on the Pats to win.


In MARCH . . . the troubled Olympic torch becomes embroiled in a protest riot in Athens; witnesses claim the torch ”reeked of alcohol.”


In APRIL . . . John McCain gets wind of something called the ”Internet” and orders his staff to give him a summary of it on index cards.


In MAY . . . both the Kentucky Derby and the Indianapolis 500 are won by Usain Bolt.


In JUNE . . . the scientific community is elated by NASA’s announcement that the Phoenix lander has detected ice on Mars. The elation turns to concern when, several hours later, the lander detects a Zamboni machine.


In JULY . . . the economic news continues to worsen with the discovery that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac have sent $87 billion to a Nigerian businessman with a compelling e-mail story.


In AUGUST . . . Barack Obama, continuing to shake up the establishment, selects as his running mate Joe Biden, a tireless fighter for change since he was first elected to the U.S. Senate in 1849.


In SEPTEMBER . . . the Republican convention gets off to a tentative start in St. Paul when President Bush and Vice President Cheney are unable to attend, partly because of Hurricane Gustav, and partly because the organizers told them that the convention was in Atlanta.


In OCTOBER . . . the entire nation rejoices as the World Series is won, yet again, by a team other than the New York Yankees.


In NOVEMBER . . . Barack Obama, in a historic triumph, becomes the nation’s first black president since the second season of 24, setting off an ecstatically joyful and boisterous all-night celebration that at times threatens to spill out of The New York Times newsroom.


and in DECEMBER . . . The CEOs of the Increasingly Small Three auto makers return to Washington to resume pleading for a bailout, this time telling Congress that if they can reach an agreement that day, they will throw in the undercoating, the satellite-radio package AND a set of floor mats. ”We’re actually LOSING MONEY on this deal!” they assure Congress.


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