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The World Wide Weird

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Idiot’s Guide to Digital Cameras

Thursday, April 2nd, 2009

Tomorrow, I embark on an important, secret mission. What is it, you may ask? Well, if I told you, it wouldn’t be a secret, now would it? Suffice to say that it’s important enough that today, I bought a brand new digital camera. And so tomorrow night, when it’s all over, I hope to have pictures and video to share with you about the results of said mission. Try to stay glued to your seats…

In the meantime, some idiocy from the folks who brought you the Quick Start Guide for the Nikon Coolpix L20:

So, let’s review, shall we? The second step in the quick start guide is entitled “First Steps.” The first step is, and I’m quoting directly from the text here, “Take the Camera Out of the Box.”

So here’s what I’m thinking: the true idiocy here doesn’t reside with the authors of the manual. The true idiocy belongs to the dozens of people who called the help desk and said, “Hello? Yes….I just purchased your camera – the Coolpix L20? I’m sitting here with the box on my desk, and I’m not sure what to do next. Can you help me?”

Makes me think of these guys:

Categories: The World Wide Weird | 2 Comments »

Plane Food – Anything but Plain

Thursday, March 26th, 2009

It’s been a while since I travelled for work, but the occasion has arisen once again, compelling me to use my employer’s online travel service. In doing so, I took note of the food choices available to me on my (Continental Airlines) flight:

- standard- vegetarian lacto-ovo
- vegetarian- low protein
- asian vegetarian- low sodium
- raw vegetarian- gluten free
- fruit plate- high fiber
- seafood- diabetic
- kosher- non-lactose
- muslim- low purin
- oriental asian- child
- hindu- bland
- low fat cholesterol- low calorie

Maybe these choices are available on Expedia as well (that’s the service I typically use to book personal travel). If they are, I hadn’t noticed them until now.

In any case, questions abound: Am I the only one who remembers when airline meals were offered as regular, vegetarian or (maybe) kosher? And what if I’m a lactose intolerant Hindu who wants a vegetarian meal that’s low in sodium, cholesterol and protein? Can we do combinations here? Doesn’t that come to billions of potential meals? What in blazes is “purin?” And does anyone intentionally order a “bland” meal, or is that just a complaint lodged after the fact?

Inquiring minds want to know!

Categories: The World Wide Weird | 3 Comments »

Maintenance-Free Pets

Friday, March 6th, 2009

Via Speculist, we present an invention for people who have a dog, but don’t really want to have a dog:

Categories: The World Wide Weird | 2 Comments »

Bike, Skate, Ball?

Sunday, March 1st, 2009

I took my kids to McDonald’s the other day, and this graphic was on their Happy Meal bag.

Bike, Skate, Ball? I realize I’m a thousand years old by today’s kids’ standards, but have items like Rock, Paper and Scissors become so outdated that kids won’t recognize them anymore?  Do we really need to “update” them with Bikes, Skates and Balls?

And what’s with these rules? In my day, it at least made some sense: a piece of paper would cover a rock; a rock would break a pair of scissors (if you hit them hard enough, I suppose); and scissors would cut the paper.

But “Skate beats ball?” How, exactly? I certainly wouldn’t want to be skating if someone threw a ball at my skates. Although, I guess, if you were a good skater, you could kick the ball away. But then, “Ball beats (bi)cycle?” What kind of ball are we talking about here? One that can defeat a bicycle, but is powerless against a skate? And then, finally, “(Bi)cycle beats Skate.” That doesn’t even make any sense!

I consider myself pretty accepting of change in most cases, but some things in life just don’t need to be improved. Rock, Paper, Scissors seems like one of those things to me.

Now get off my lawn!!!

Categories: The World Wide Weird | 3 Comments »

This isn’t helping…

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

NEW YORK (CNN) — The founder of an upstate New York TV station aimed at countering Muslim stereotypes has been arrested on suspicion of killing his wife, who was beheaded, authorities said.

Categories: The World Wide Weird | 1 Comment »

Hacking Road Signs…

Sunday, February 8th, 2009

OK, so apparently, the latest rage is hacking into those orange and black electronic road signs you see once in a while, and changing the message to something clever or ironic. This, for instance, is kind of funny:

But this, on the other hand, is freakin’ hilarious:

Categories: The World Wide Weird | No Comments »

Toys of the Times

Sunday, January 18th, 2009

From Amazon.com (hat tip: Willow Gross):

Click through to the Amazon page and read the comments. They are priceless as well. Here’s a snippet from my favorite:

I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger’s shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger’s scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said “that’s the worst security ever!”. But it turned out to be okay, because when the passenger got on the Playmobil B757 and tried to hijack it, she was mobbed by a couple of other heroic passengers, who only sustained minor injuries in the scuffle, which were treated at the Playmobil Hospital.

Classic…

Categories: The World Wide Weird | No Comments »

The new “Got Milk?” Campaign?

Tuesday, January 13th, 2009

This from the excellent photo-blog, Incredimazing:

This is not a humorous topic, of course, but I must admit to smiling when I saw this picture. First of all, anything that makes hateful people look stupid is a step in the right direction, as far as I’m concerned. Second, I just love the fact that he thought he could clarify his error by writing the word “Zionist” in parentheses above the word “Juice.” So now, instead of just misspelling “Jews,” he’s create the concept of Zionist Juice, which I presume is made by squeezing Zionists really hard? And not only that, he’s against Zionist Juice, which I’m guessing is the opposite of the message he’s trying to convey. Ah, sweet linguistic justice…

Anyway, sorry if this offends anyone, but I thought it was hilarious.

Categories: The World Wide Weird | 2 Comments »

Random Acts of Blogging – 1/9/09

Saturday, January 10th, 2009

Happy New Year to all! We start off 2009 here at I Should Be Sleeping with a random smattering of things I’ve seen since New Year’s that I thought you’d find fascinating:

First, there’s Burger King. Last month, we discussed their new meat-scented cologne. Now, they’ve gone hi-tech. The Whopper Sacrifice is a Facebook app which will give you a coupon for a free Whopper if you de-friend ten people on Facebook. And not just anonymously dump them. Oh, no. Burger King’s app will send them a “Dear John” e-mail, telling them that you dumped them for a free burger. I guess this is for those folks who didn’t take the hint when you started wearing meat-scented cologne…

Moving quickly onward, ABC News informs us that Congress declared Barack Obama the next President of the United States today. That Congress is sure on top of things, huh? Just kidding, of course. This is a centuries old tradition, whereby a joint session of Congress officially counts and certifies the votes from the electoral college. Those of a certain political bent will enjoy the linked article, as it describes in detail the way Dick Cheney had to sit next to Nancy Pelosi and, in what could easily be his last act as President of the Senate, declare Barack Obama the next President and Joe Biden his replacement as Vice President. There’s also the fun moment of concern where, as luck would have it, the first four states in alphabetical order (Alabama, Alaska, Arizona and Arkansas) all voted for McCain/Palin, causing the a cheer of relief to go up when the next state, California, gave it’s 55 electoral votes to Obama/Biden. Finally, in the “some people never learn” category, the article mentions that the latest of eight (yes, eight) appeals to the Supreme Court to prevent the certification of the vote was quickly dismissed. This one claimed that Obama was ineligible to be President, because his Hawaiian birth certificate is fake and he’s not a naturally born citizen. Sigh…

Also on a political note, Sarah Palin has done an interview for a conservative-leaning documentary on the 2008 election. In it, she gets on Katie Couric, Tina Fey, and the MSM in general for how they treated her. I’ll note three things here: 1) she comes across better in this interview than in anything she ever did on the campaign trail, 2) the editing seems to intentionally cut off her now famous speaking affectations (winks, giggles, you-betcha’s, etc.), and 3) she’s still talking about the media as if it were something that she had no control over and took her by complete surprise. That’s something she’s going to have to change if she wants any future in national politics.

On to financial matters, we have these quotes from our last four presidents, each as they began their presidencies. Tell me if you notice a pattern:

“[The United States is] confronted with an economic affliction of great proportions” – Ronald Reagan, 1981 inaugural address

“We have a deficit to bring down. We have more will than wallet.” – George H.W. Bush, 1989 inaugural address

“[The United States is] weakened by business failures, stagnant wages, increasing inequality and deep divisions among our people.” – Bill Clinton, 1993 inaugural address

“For every day we wait or point fingers or drag our feet, more Americans will lose their jobs. More families will lose their savings. More dreams will be deferred and denied. And our nation will sink deeper into a crisis that, at some point, we may not be able to reverse” – Barack Obama, 1/8/09 at George Mason University

Not that I’m downplaying the current economic crisis, but it does seem as though presidents try to play down the economy when they enter office, so they can claim a greater victory when they leave, no?

And finally, we have more pictures and video of our recent house construction. Our builder, David Ginfrida, has a Video page on his site. About two thirds of the way down (at the time of this writing) are two videos entitled “Full House Makeover in Scotch Plains, NJ (Front)” and “Full House Makeover in Scotch Plains, NJ (Back)” (the page doesn’t allow me to link to the specific videos – search on your own when you get there). Also, there are several videos taken inside the house as well (one per floor). That page is located here. Obviously, these are very similar to the pictures and videos I’ve posted, but Ginfrida’s guys have a better camera and the ability to ask the workers to clean-up and step out of the way before snapping the pictures, so theirs are a little cleaner.

Anyway, that wraps up my first post of 2009. Here’s to another great year…

Categories: Family Matters, Money Talk, Political Rantings, Random Acts of Blogging, The World Wide Weird | No Comments »

From the Crew – Behind the Scenes Cruise Stories

Tuesday, December 30th, 2008

OK, one more Disney post and then I’ll stop – I promise.

This one is courtesy of a side conversation with some of the Disney Wonder’s fantastic crew staff. It’s the Top Ten Crazy Things People Say on Cruise Ships. All, I am assured, are true stories:

10. Do these stairs go up?

9. Will this elevator take me to the front of the ship?

8. [While viewing the hundreds of photos the crew staff takes of you during the cruise and then tries to sell you later] How do I know which pictures are mine?

7. Does the crew staff live on-board the ship?

6. [When a chronic complainer who asked #7 was told that no, in fact, a helicopter picks them up every night at 1AM and they commute] I’d like to register a complaint – the helicopter that picked the crew up last night at 1AM made so much noise, it woke me up.

5. [Right after boarding the ship and going to his stateroom, but before the ship left port] I’d like my money back. I asked for a room with a “Sea View,” and when I go out on my veranda, all I can see is the parking lot!

4. [on Castaway Cay, Disney's private island] Will this tram take me to the Animal Kingdom Park? [n.b., Animal Kingdom is one of the parks in Disney World - in Orlando, Florida].

3. Disney really should have told me there was no casino on board – I’m very disappointed.

**Numbers 2 and 1 redacted because they are too dumb to mention here…

(Actually, I only had eight, but who ever heard of a “Top Eight” list? Damn Letterman…)

Categories: The Disneyverse, The World Wide Weird | No Comments »

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